G'day Mates!
Ow's it goin? So ya dun it didga, ya jumped on the big bird and brought ya bums over ere! OnYa peoples, onya! Great place ain't it? Bonza bloody bewdy!

Well, I'd bet me 'cheese n kisses' that you're all starvin! Don't go much on airline tucker! Blokes gotta ave cast iron guts just to keep the slops down!

So as I woz sayin ........ Ya could probly eat the crutch out of a rag doll and ya must be as dry as a dead dingoes donger, so you blokes wrap ya laughin gear around a tinnie of lager & for you sheila's, sip on a Breezer! Carn! Toss it round ya tonsils a bit and clear out the fog!

Any tee-totlers amongst ya's ...... there's plenya water in the tap! ONLY JOKIN! Esky's loaded so just grabba tinnie of whatever takes ya fancy! Can't help ya out wid cuppa's at the mo! ya ave to hang about and wait for the 'lammies' to be served up!

CRIKEY! Me guts thinks me throats been cut - gotta grab some grub! Can't be all grog! A man could end up three sheets to the wind! So let's git around to our local hotel with the big neon sign that spells PUB and order us up a 'countery' and tuck into a bloody good feed!

Ow about a Steak, Chips and a coupla googies! Smothered with ya fave dead horse! Maybe a coupla sangers and some smashed spud! There's always a barbequed chook, battered savs, even a burger or three! For you fish heads amongst uz we got good seafood! Slap ya peepers on this lot ... Snapper, Barramundi, Cray, Morton Bay Bugs, Bream ...... all topped with Fancy sauces of ya choice!

If ya thinkin all that sounds a bit crook, round the corner we got 'Dinkum Diners' ....... Traditional 'Bush Tucker'......... Courses for Horses! First up, Wild nuts & berries picked from the Native Trees of the Outback! If ya so inclined we could order up a little platter of wittchitti grubs, snake, lizard..... bite size pieces of course. For ya mainee we ave Kangaroo Fillets, Spuds in their jackets, Squatters Stew, Poached Emu Eggs, Joe Blake, and Turtle Neck Soup, mop up ya slops with a good fat slice of Damper!

For ya sweet tooths, ya can't go past a 'Lammie' for sweets! Ifen I still ave'nt gotcha taste buds twitchin, ya can all rock around to my joint and the cheese n kisses will whip us up a dish in no time! And ya can bet ya sweet bippies she'll ave a Pav waitin! And if y'all wanna chuck in some moolah we can git uz a Keg on the way over! We'll ave a rip snorter of a show! I'll bring the boys over, put the footy on the telly and Bob's ya Uncle!

If ya appen to 'hit the turps' and fall to ya knees and dribble ya sins to yaself, ya kinda 'Blind Drunk' so you can all camp over and in the mornin Darl will cook us up a brekkie, couple a slashes of Bacon, Bumnut or 2, bit a toast and ya on ya way. Nice hot cuppa, maybe even 'the hair of the dog' ........!

Waddya reckon? If none of that satisfies .......... CRIKEY! Ave a vegemite sandwich ....... And for sweets, git a Freddo Frog or 2 , Violet Crumble or an Arnott's Bickie!

Now Trendsetters, if ya not droolin by now! All I can say is 'Hit The Frog and Toad" and go ome!!!!!!!!! :o)

BTW: If ya happen to come to Adelaide - We are the only Ozzie State that can boast a 'Pie Floater' ........ True Blue it's good tucker! A meat pie, floating in THICK Pea Soup, smothered in dead horse! ~ Fair Dinkum ~ See ya round ......... round like a rissole!

btw: Please be advised that some of the material used in this story was purely fictional and GLAMORISED for the fun of it! No animal or tourist was harmed in anyway, shape or form! ~ Oi Oi Oi ~ And just to brag a little bit here and state a well known fact... ....We here in Adelaide, South Australia boast some of the FINEST wine in the world!!

~ Tracey G ~

Whatcha say, Mate?

• Tucker = Grub = Food.
  
• Bush Tucker = Traditional Aussie Food.
  
• Cheese N Kisses = Mrs - The Wife - The little Woman.
  
• Cast Iron Guts = Strong stomach - can handle MOST food types and mixtures.
  Eat The Crutch Out Of A Rag Doll = Fangin -Starving - VERY hungry!
  
• Dry As A Dead Dingoes Donger = Parched - Very Thirsty!
  
• Laughin Gear = Mouth.
  
• Tinnie Of Lager = Can Of Beer.
  
• Blokes = Men.
  
• Sheila's = Women.
  
• Breezer = Pre-Mixed Alcoholic Soft Drink.
  
• Carn = Come On.
  
• Cuppa = Hot cup of Tea or Coffee.
  
• Lammie = Lamington (squares of stale sponge cake coated in chocolate and rolled in coconut).
  
• Grog = Alcohol (usually Beer).
  
• Three sheets to the Wind = Tipsy - Drunk.
  
• Countery = A good cheap meal served in the lounge section of a pub.
  
• Googies = Bumnuts = Eggs.
  
• Dead Horse = Tomato Sauce (Ketchup).
  
• Smashed Spud = Mashed Potato.
  
• Sangers = Snags = Sausages.
  
• Battered Savs = Deep Fried Sausages in Batter.
  
• A Bit Crook = Awful - Unappetizing - Terrible - Nasty.
  
• Spuds in their jackets = Potatoes unpeeled, wrapped in alfoil and cooked under hot coals, add desired amount of butter/margarine/FAT/cholesterol.
  
• Squatters Stew = Whatever you can lay ya hands on, toss it in the pot and cook it slowly over a camp fire.
  
• Joe Blake = Snake.
  
• Damper = Flour, water, Salt all kneaded together wrapped in alfoil (leaves) and cooked under hot coals. Of course modern time Aussie's can add sugar/sweetener/cheese/ etc. etc...
  
• Pav = Pavlova = The SWEETEST treat ever! A meringue base FULL of whipped cream and whatever ya fancy on top, fruit, chocolate chips, anything goes! Guaranteed to give you an IMMEDIATE Sugar Rush!
  
• Moolah = Money.
  
• Rip Snorter = Fantastic.
  
• Bobs Ya Uncle = There you go.
  
• Hit The Turps = Drink.
  
• Darl = Darling.
  
• Brekkie = Breakfast.
  
• Hair Of The Dog = To wake up with a hangover but have another drink!
  
• Waddya Reckon = What do You Think.
  
• Frog And Toad = Road.
  
• Rissole = A pattie made from minced steak, onion and salt to taste.
  
• True Blue = Honest.

"Sterling Moon is my favorite specialty coffee!" David E. Brown,
[Billy Joel's former lead guitarist for 11 years] Gloucester, MA

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