Women's News and Views on Life, Love and Leisure in the Real World
Joke Collection #1
Our Regular
Features:
The gURLz Gazette Joke Collection
Issue 1, Vol 1, July 2001.
Here are some jokes that we have collected. We have no idea who originally wrote any of these, as they all get passed around the internet so much... But, I guess that's what good jokes are for, right?
We hope you like them too! ~ The gURLz ~
Some Of Our Favourite One Liners!
We finally CHILD - PROOFED the house. My husband went and got a vasectomy!
Sharks NEVER attack lawyers - out of PROFESSIONAL courtesy!
It's always best to get MARRIED in the morning, so if it doesn't work out, at least your WHOLE day is not ruined.!
Alimony? Money that allows a woman who lived UNHAPPILY married to live HAPPILY unmarried!
Waiter asked my wife how she would like her steak?
She said: 'Medium rare.'
He asked, 'How about your vegetable?'
She answered, 'He can order for HIMSELF!'
Then there was the power blackout at a Los Angeles department store - 40 people got STUCK on the escalator!
Most accidents happen in YOUR OWN HOME. So I've decided to SELL mine and just RENT it from the new owner!
We have a story book marriage... Unfortunately, it was written by Stephen King!
My psychiatrist told me I was an Obsessive-Compulsive.
Just to be SURE I'm going to check - then DOUBLE check!
Then I might even check AGAIN.
Hope you got a giggle out of these!!
(Contributed by Tracey G.)
COUNTDOWN TO DESTRUCTION
It was ten to twelve on New Year's Eve, and a lady stood up at the local pub and said that it was time to get ready for the celebrations.
At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband in the pub to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing.... The poor bartender was almost crushed to death!
